Model school has been going well, but I have been having a little bit of issues dealing with cultural differences. Here, women are considered lower than the men; men are allowed to eat first, talk first, basically do everything first. Women do basically all of the work around the house, which is one reason why boys continue in school while girls drop out to do housework. However, times are changing, especially in the more urban areas. Nevertheless, girls still do most, if not all, of the chores. Last week we did an activity with the students, in which the girls and boys were broken into two different groups and were asked to write out a daily calendar of activities for both boys and girls. It was very clear when both groups came together that the girls were awake more hours than the boys and in that time spent many more hours working, while the boys played soccer and hung out with friends. And these are mostly children of educated functionaries (civil servants).
Also, there is a hierarchy within the family, the father first, then either the mother or the sons, and then the daughters. It sometimes seems that I have been more integrated into my host family than I wanted. Not that I am asked to spend all of my free hours cooking or cleaning or getting water, but it seems sometimes that my parents assume that what is mine is also theres, as if I really was a member of their family. I do thank them so much for taking me into their family and for caring for me, but I am not a rich American (despite what many Burkinabe think about all Americans) and do not have that much stuff here. The other day I spent more money than I should have to buy ingredients to make no-bake cookies (I was craving something sweet). So I came home and made the cookies, with the ingredients that I bought, and shared them with my family. I then told my mother than I wanted to save the rest to give away tomorrow. But then when I wake up in the morning, my mother has eaten them. I was not very happy, but let it go. So yesterday I made some more cookies and again asked my mom to not eat them because I wanted them for tomorrow. And then I went looking for them this morning and they were gone and my mother wouldn’t really answer me about what happened to them. So that was a little frustrating. Then, my mother had requested last weekend that I cook lunch today, which I am more than happy to do. However, as I was leaving for the marche, she asked if I was paying and I said no, because I do not have much money, and she did not seem very happy with my answer. It is just trying at times because I know my family is getting paid a fair amount of money to feed me and then they want me to buy food to feed the whole family? I do not really understand it and therefore I feel as if there is some tension at home at the moment and I do not want there to be. But at the same time, I do not really know what to do to fix it and to prove that not all Americans are rich and my things are not my families (aka it is not polite to demand candy when I get a care package). But I am working through this…I hope.
Anyway, I think this is a time for a shout-out. I would really like to say thank you to everyone who has been keeping in touch with me. It really means so much to me! So thank you parents for calling me every weekend- you have no idea how I look forward to those phone calls. And of course thanks for sending me those things that I left at home (I wish we had a better packing list). Thanks to Cate and Mother Burgess for sending me monthly care packages. I just got the second one and almost cried I was so happy! And thanks to everyone who has been commenting on my blog and facebook and to those who have been emailing me. I’ve also had some great conversations chatting on the computer with Theresa and Sarah. And Kentai even called me last week!!! Woot woot!!!! These simple things matter so much, so if you have time to write me a quick letter and send me a line, I would really appreciate it (and you might get a pretty sweet card from Africa in return). I also want to say sorry to my friends (and sister) who have gone abroad and I failed to email, call, or send a letter to you. I now know how it feels to be cut off from family and friends and it is hard! (or maybe I am just a homebody who needs her friends around at all times, haha). I really just do not want to lose contact with those I care about in the U.S., but it is a little challenging at times to be the one initiating contact from a third world country. So thanks to everyone I have heard from and I look forward to hearing from everyone else! Miss you guys.
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Hi Emma,
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog and remembering my own experience as a secondary ed PCT 12 years ago (I was in the 1st group)!! It really doesn't seem that long ago. I just returned from visiting Burkina for 5 weeks reconnecting with my belle famille and introducing my children to the second side of their cultural background. I feel your pain with model school, french, and understanding the concept of the rich americans. I have been married to a burkinabe for 10 years and still stumble from time-to-time. More than anything I want to encourage your teaching practice. Teaching is an overwhelming profession add teaching in a 2nd language and in limited conditions can be daunting at best, but believe in yourself and the commitment you've made to PC and the people of Burkina. PC opened the door to discovering my calling as an educator and I've loved every minute of it. Bon chance et il ne faut pas oblier...ca va aller:-)
Hey Emma, keep your chin up. Meshing with your host family can be REALLY REALLY HARD. The time I spent in France proved to be quiet an eye-opener. * know, I know, staying on the Riveira and the Champs-Elysses is not anywhere in the ballpark of BF, but its a different culture*
ReplyDeleteI know it may sound tricksy, but I'd say next time you make dessert (or anything for that matter) that you don't want to share, wrap it up immediately after its cooled and put a note on it. Something like, " Dear *fellow teacher*, thank you for your help, you've made my acclimation to Burkinabe culture easier. Here is a small gift I could afford. It is a meager gesture of thanks for the assitance you've given me."
I know, a lie. BUT I believe that might help convey ownership of the goodies and maybe your fam will leave it alone. Rip off the card after its served its purpose.
As for shopping for food, could you give your host mother a list for food and tell her you'd like to make lunch/dinner tomorrow/following day, but don't have time to go shopping with your classes and such? You apologize profusely for the inconveniece, and you hope the money PC has allocated to the family to offset your lodging and food will cover the costs.
It might work.
Remember, being part of a family is a two way street. If they're going to demand things from you, you have every right to ask for things in return. If they don't feel you are a guest, then don't act like one.
I'll send Hanes shirts in the next care pkg. instead of PB. I dont think they'll ask you to share your clothes.
One last bit from my fireside chat, the internet makes missing home a lot easier. Keeping in touch with people doesn't mean you can't completely immerse yourself in the Burkinabe culture. Try to break down the "us and them" barriers and become a part of the breathing culture that envelopes you. You are home now. You still have a home on the U.S., but this is your new home for a while. Look for the good stuff that makes you happy every day. Cool nights, your spanky patterened clothes, eating a fresh tomato sprinkled with salt, teaching a kid a new fact that makes them excited to learn more. . . whatever gives you pleasure. Remember there'll be a cold case waiting for you if you ever come back to SMC for a visit. Loki misses you.
Thank you!!
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